Of Mice and Mice

My new, latest bells and whistles, computer came with a wireless mouse. Thinking I really should get into the 21st Century, I sent off my precious wired mouse with the old computer.

     $%^#! wireless drives me nuts! I go to highlight-cut-paste and the page jiggles and slithers from under the cursor. I try to read on-line articles, and it zips up and down opening pages. I click on a date in Calendar—and set the appointment in the next month.

     Called AppleCare (bless ‘em!). When the tech's eye is on the screen, the mouse behaves, (of course). When he looks away, pages start slithering. My wireless mouse has a bunch of “features” I don't want checked in Systems Preferences. I uncheck them and set the mouse to S-L-O-W. 

     Problems persist.

     AppleCare again. Turns out you can't turn the Scroll “feature” off in the wireless mouse. Since I want to use it like a wired mouse, I should get a wired mouse.

“You still have wired mice?” I squeaked.
   "Yes, you can swap yours for one at an Apple store."
    "Thank God." I almost wept. 

   Next morning a friend picked up the wireless mouse to exchange.
   When I went into my bathroom, the drain stank of a dead mouse. Seemed symbolic somehow.